Main Street News

Having migrated with her family from Iran to the United States at only seven years old, author, content creator, and keynote speaker Pattie Ehsaei strived from a young age to achieve financial independence while carving out a career for herself. 

Through her dynamic experiences as a lawyer and manager in financial services, she’s developed a sharp array of skills for building financial independence as a source of power and protection, growing wealth through a five-account system, approaching careers with practicality and decorum, rejecting outdated views of women and money, and finding partners who match one’s own ambition and commitment.

Pattie is eager to share what she’s learned in a whole new way, building upon the millions she reaches on TikTok as the “Duchess of Decorum” and the many she’s able to teach through her speaking, courses, and coaching. Never Date a Broke Dude: The Financial Freedom Playbook was released on May 6 of this year. This in-depth guide features a mixture of personal stories and concrete tips to help you create financial independence in your own life while also fostering a career and healthy relationships that align with your goals and boost your confidence. Now, Pattie shares all about what inspired this book and what she hopes readers will take away from her stories and advice.

I was able to catch up with Pattie recently and learn more about her life, writing, and advice. 

How does writing fit into your life?

I’ve always had a knack for writing, honed sharply during my years in law school, where precision and persuasion became second nature. But my true passion lies in storytelling that leaves a lasting impact. Empowering people, especially women, to seize control of their financial futures has been my driving force, and writing emerged as a natural extension of that mission. After building a million-strong TikTok following as the “Duchess of Decorum,” I saw the power of words to connect and inspire. Writing Never Date a Broke Dude became my megaphone, a way to blend my legal and financial expertise with my personal journey, delivering a message that resonates and drives real change. For me, writing isn’t just a lifelong love; it’s a tool to spark transformation and amplify impact.

What was it like sharing your vulnerable, tragic, and ultimately very personal experiences with financial independence while honoring your mother’s memory?

Sharing the importance of financial freedom is deeply personal for me because it’s tied to my mother’s story. She couldn’t leave a tough situation due to financial dependence, and it cost her everything, including her life. Writing about that in Never Date a Broke Dude and dedicating the book to her was both heartbreaking and healing. It meant baring my soul – talking about her loss, my parents’ struggles, and how those shaped me. It wasn’t easy. It felt raw, like reopening old wounds, but it was worth it to honor her memory and help others avoid that kind of pain. Being vulnerable in the book let me connect with readers on a real level, showing them that financial independence isn’t just about money, it’s about safety, self-respect, and freedom.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about what inspired you to write Never Date a Broke Dude and what motivated you to embark on this process of sharing your story and advice?

I wrote Never Date a Broke Dude because I’ve seen too many women, including myself in the past, make financial and romantic choices that held them back. My own dating missteps, combined with my mother’s tragic experience, lit a fire in me to create a guide that’s both a wake-up call and a playbook for success. I was inspired by the idea of helping women become the “rich man” of their own dreams, challenging the old narrative that we need a guy to save us. My TikTok platform, where I’ve connected with millions, showed me people are hungry for straight-talking advice, and that motivated me to turn my insights into a book. Sharing stories like my ayahuasca-induced revelations or the heavy stuff, like murder-suicide tied to financial dependence, wasn’t easy, but I wanted to show the real stakes of ignoring financial red flags.

What was your process when it came to putting your book together and providing both your own stories and your financial freedom roadmap?

My approach to writing Never Date a Broke Dude was to create a clear, actionable playbook that felt like a conversation with a big sister who doesn’t sugarcoat things. I started by mapping out the four key areas I wanted to cover: the basics, money, work, and power (aka self-worth). I drew from my life, my parents’ struggles, my own dating disasters, and my 20 years in finance to anchor the book with real stories. Then, I layered in practical tools, like my five-account system for managing cash flow, paying off debt, fixing credit, and investing with just $100. My process was about blending those raw, personal moments with step-by-step advice, keeping the tone no-nonsense and relatable, like my TikTok videos. I wanted every reader to feel like they could start small and still win big.

How do you hope this book will help readers on both a financial and personal level?

I want Never Date a Broke Dude to give readers the tools to build a financial safety net and the confidence to demand more from their relationships and themselves. Financially, I hope it helps people master budgeting, saving, investing, and career moves so their money stays theirs. On a personal level, I want readers to see their worth, set higher standards, and never settle for less than they deserve. The book’s for anyone, but I wrote it especially for ambitious young women, daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and goddaughters, who’ve been told they can’t handle money and they need a man to succeed. I’ve had readers, even men, say it made them rethink their beliefs about relationships, which is huge. Whether you’re starting from scratch or leveling up, I want this book to be your guide to freedom and power.

Why do you think it’s important to share this message with the world, especially today?

My main goal was to create a definitive playbook for navigating love and money, helping readers avoid the trap of financial dependence and make smarter choices in relationships. 

Choosing a partner is the biggest financial decision you’ll ever make, and I want people to go in with their eyes open. Today, with rising costs, economic uncertainty, and shifting gender roles, financial literacy is more critical than ever. Women especially need to hear that they can be financially independent and don’t have to rely on anyone. My mother’s story drives home why this matters; her lack of options cost her her life. Sharing this message is about saving others from that fate and building a world where everyone, especially women, has the tools to thrive.

How does your social media presence and other services, like your courses, coaching, and speaking, contribute to your mission?

My social media, especially TikTok where I’m the “Duchess of Decorum,” is the heart of my mission to teach financial literacy and empower women. With a million followers, I share blunt, funny content, like telling people to stop blowing money on Amazon or Sephora and start investing $100 a month to let compound interest work its magic. I mix in personal stories, financial tips, and big-sister advice to pick partners who match your drive. My courses, coaching, and speaking gigs build on this, offering deeper dives into budgeting, investing, and career strategies, though I keep the details flexible to meet people where they are. My content’s all about making finance approachable, calling out excuses, and inspiring women to own their power.

Do you have any words of advice you’d like to share with our readership and those who might be interested in your experiences with financial freedom?

Start small, but start now. With consistent investing and compound interest, $100 a month can grow into real wealth. See financial independence as your ultimate act of self-respect; it’s your safety net, no matter what life throws at you. Choose partners who match your ambition, not just your bank account, because a true teammate lifts you up. Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s how you grow. And push back against anyone who says you can’t handle money; you’re more capable than you know. Take charge of your finances and relationships, and you’ll build a life with options, security, and power.

Is there anything else you’d like to share that hasn’t already been covered in the above questions?

I’d love for readers to know that Never Date a Broke Dude isn’t just for women. Its lessons on money and relationships are universal. The book’s mix of humor, tough love, and real talk makes it a fun but life-changing read. My mother’s memory drives everything I do, and I hope this book sparks a movement where financial freedom becomes the norm, not the exception.

To learn more about Pattie and order your copy of Never Date a Broke Dude: The Financial Freedom Playbook, please go to her website, pattieehsaei.com. You can find Pattie on TikTok and Instagram @duchessofdecorum.