Main Street News

Typically, we humans like to kick off the New Year with a myriad of resolutions aimed at improving our lives, or at least challenging ourselves to be better versions of who we were the previous year. It’s in our nature, after all, to want to be the best versions of ourselves. 

It’s actually one of mankind’s more admirable traits – lord knows we possess oodles of less savory characteristics – which is why I believe our natural instinct for self-improvement should be nurtured and cultivated, especially with the New Year now upon us. My eternal sense of optimism is what prompted me to pen this piece for Main Street’s inaugural issue of 2025. 

Chart the course: Work out the past before tackling the future

This year, I’m charting a course for my own personal growth, with a focus on my spiritual and mental wellness. I hope the following will provide some insight and encouragement.

To begin with, I believe the key to ensuring success when laying out the roadmap to your goal – any goal – is unloading past baggage. Unresolved issues equate to unnecessary hurdles when forging ahead, so why allow any encumbrances? Tackling your past pain before attempting to conquer upcoming challenges just makes sense and increases your chances of success. Of course, that’s more easily said than done, as it takes a lot of hard work to slog through former trauma and deal with your past, work on your present, and ideally perfect your future. So far, I’m not aware of any magic bullet to help us release those wounds so come January 1 we can move on and accomplish our New Year resolutions easy-peasy. If anyone hears otherwise, please let me know!

Of course, working out your past before setting a new goal is a tall order, especially as most people only remember to make a resolution come December. But even if one simply identifies a few key issues to work on and how to best do so, and then makes a concerted and consistent effort to heal from the inside out, those are important first steps on the road toward a brighter and better 2025. If that journey is anything like mine, you should have more clarity, more compassion (for yourself and others), and more confidence as a result.

An individual healing process

Depending on your needs, you may opt to consult with a professional therapist to help you heal. These days there are many options for people seeking support, from in-office visits with psychologists and/or psychiatrists to tele-visits, like Zoom or Google Meet video chats, to various cognitive-behavioral online therapy apps – a number of which are free (though be sure to check out reviews as some providers are qualified professionals while others are volunteers). Therapy and support services are sometimes offered by civic-minded organizations in local communities like churches, synagogues, community centers, schools, veterans organizations, women’s shelters, and the like.

The point is, it’s important to properly place our past pain in the rearview mirror – knowing it’s often a work-in-progress and may be for some time. That can help give us perspective as we set our sights on a new destination. That provides a clear vision of where we want to head without towing around a ton of dead weight that would be much better off dropped at the dump.   

Tabula rasa: A clean slate

Once we have a clean slate, our minds should be free to focus on what’s ahead. For me, personal development is a major goal in 2025, with my mental and spiritual wellness being paramount. I believe it’s vital to prioritize inner growth – everyone benefits from self-improvement – both the individual who’s transforming and those in that person’s circle.

I’ve experienced the benefits personally. I’ve gone through great change and grown an incredible amount during the past few years. In 2022, I left my now ex-husband and my cherished home; I resigned from a job I adored as editor of The Millerton News, which I held for two decades; I moved away from my much-beloved neighbors, whom I consider family, and a community I had come to revere. I left New York and returned to my home state of Florida. It was a huge adjustment, and while I left many I loved and admired behind, I rejoined family I hadn’t been near in years, making me incredibly happy. I also reconnected with a childhood friend; we fell deeply in love and in September we became engaged. Suffice it to say, change, though daunting and demanding, can be magical.

Don’t get me wrong, the intervening few years have come with their fair share of tears and pain, as I’ve naturally re-lived some of the trauma from my difficult marriage, oftentimes during therapy. I am happy to do the grueling work, motivated even, to figure out why I stayed in an unhealthy situation for so long. I continue to unravel that mystery, because I know at the end of my therapeutic journey I shall be rewarded with a spurt of inner growth (much like the nearly four inches I grew the summer before eighth grade!). I expect to evolve spiritually and emotionally and become more resilient, which should bolster my resolve as I walk through life. 

I cannot express how much I look forward to that day. I inch closer to it every moment, conscious of how I deal with the world, of how I handle crises, of how I process pain, of how I respond to criticism or antagonism, and of how I choose to deal with people in general. It’s empowering, both as someone who believes they were treated cruelly for many years and as an individual who now realizes it’s important to routinely set personal goals for herself and to go after them unabashedly. 

Prioritizing ME!

I also learned it’s okay to prioritize myself and my needs, which is paramount when transforming my resolutions into reality. To make that happen, I had to take a good, hard look at myself and assess, all part of the therapeutic process.

A crucial part of my plan for a successful and prosperous New Year is that I stay organized and attentive. So far, I’ve been able to do so, by and large. It definitely takes effort, as while I’m extremely nit-picky with many things, I’ve also been described as both “eccentric” and “creative” when it comes to my organizational paradigm. It’s nearly impossible to explain to anyone how I systematize things – or how I think, problem solve, calculate, or plan in any way for that matter – but it all makes sense in my mind and appeals to my artistic sensibility.

But this piece is about growth and goal setting, and there are many ways in which I hope to keep growing in 2025. Improving my organizational skills continues to be on my to-do list. I shall also strive to perseverate less when decision making and to stand tall whenever it seems like what I’m tackling is too difficult, whether that’s a challenging writing assignment, an arduous therapy session, or simply an exchange with a loathsome or negative person. These are all real-life situations I must learn to navigate seamlessly if I want an elevated quality of life, and there’s one thing I’ve come to realize since reconnecting with Jason: Living a good life is of utmost importance to me. 

If we’re not happy while we’re on this earth, and if we don’t treat each other kindly, what’s the point? That said, this year I shall do everything within my power to solidify my place in this world as a woman who embodies intelligence, strength, resilience, and confidence. 

It’s not for lack of motivation, it’s for lack of clarity

Setting goals and following through takes work, commitment, and consistency. According to an article from January of 2023 penned by Troy Weidman and published on reachinghigherinc.org, only 38.5% of adults in this country even bother setting a New Year’s resolution, and 43% of those people predicted their goals would go by the wayside within one month. Only 9% of folks were credited with successfully keeping their New Year’s resolutions while an overwhelming majority – 80% percent of Americans – said they didn’t even have a goal. Among the 20% who did have goals, fewer than 4% reported committing them to paper. 

The article’s author said sometimes when one fails to meet a goal, the negative experience can color how they look at setting future goals. He noted people will also separate their professional goals from their personal goals, and while they may succeed in reaching personal benchmarks in life or ambitions at work, they can’t always accomplish both. Weidman said it wasn’t until he read a comment in author James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, that he gained “true insight.” Clear wrote that “most people think they lack motivation when they really lack clarity.”  

Clarity is indeed essential, whether clearing out the cobwebs from past troubles that may still haunt us or when setting a path for future successes. 

I hope those reading this will be able to achieve all their New Year’s resolutions with great success; remember it’s helpful to set realistic goals, but don’t be afraid to aim high! Best of luck as you work toward your objectives and remember to enjoy the journey along the way. Here’s wishing all a safe and healthy 2025, filled with much learning, laughter, lightness, and love. •