The Otis Feed

Befurr my sister was born, my purrents took a vow between each other to nevfurr speak “baby” to her. They’ve done a supurrb job sticking to this promise – I on the other hand, am not exempt from this rule. My mother calls this torturous language her “cat-mom” voice.

Evfurr since I was a kitten, my mother has ALWAYS spoken to me in this “cat-mom” voice.

[Insert eye roll!]

The volume level of this voice  of course belongs in another stratosphere of decibels – so much so that my ears flare back when she talks to me.

Mom, I’m not deaf – yet.

And another thing – she pluralizes EVFURRYTHING! Fur example:

Me: “Meowwww”

Mom: “OTIS JOE, ARE YOU SADS? HOW COMES HANDSOME PANTS? ARE YOU COLDS? DO YOU NEED TURKERS?”

So many things wrong with this confurrsation.

1) I am just saying hi.

2) Why would I be sad? I’ve been catnapping all day.

3) I don’t wear pants.

4) Yes, actually I’m cold because the A/C has been running full blast.

5) It’s called turkey mom. [Insert eye roll, again!]. But yes, I would like some.

I wonder if she realizes I’m not a kitten any more – I’m working on 11 years old and this is so not cool!

Does anyone else have a mom like this? Asking fur a furriend!