Switfting, purrdon me, switching gears furrom Mom’s Shania Twain high, this week I’m getting in touch with my inner swiftie. What is a swiftie you ask? A swiftie is a true Taylor Swift fan. I know I might not strike you as someone who’s into Taylor Swift music, but she loves cats and oftentimes includes cat refurrences in her lyrics. That automatically makes me (and Mom) a fan.
One song of Taylor’s in purrticular furrom her Reputation album has unintentionally become my anthem this week. The song title is called This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things. Allow me to explain. Mom is a minimalist, but does enjoy her symmetrical coffee table decorations. Fur the furrst time in my life I must have miscalculated my jump furrom the floor to the coffee table and slid into one of her glass candle holders. Mom and Dad weren’t there to witness this all take place, but my kid sister, Ellie was. Mom and Dad came rushing to the scene of the crime, Ellie had no qualms pointing the paw at me, making sure I was the one who got in trouble. Thanks fur nothing, Ellie. My punishment was Mom chasing me down with kisses to make sure I was ok and Ellie stomping her foot saying I was a “Bad man!” Dad was on purromt glass clean-up duty.
So back to channeling T. Swift, the specific lyric that Mom keeps singing to me goes like this: “This is why we can’t have nice things, darling. Because you break them, I have to take them away.” Sorry Mom fur breaking your candle holder. Luckily fur her no one was hurt and this gives her an excuse to go shopping fur new coffee table decorations.